Self-Improvement Improves Parenting

I have a lot of shortcomings. There are things I do wrong, do poorly or don’t do that I should.

Maybe I am the only one, but I think if each of us honestly considered ourselves, most of us would feel the same way. There are only so many hours in the day and only so much mental space that each of us have, it’s inevitable that we’re going to fall short on some things.

I’ve gone through stretches where I’ve been a bit of a self-help junkie. Articles, podcasts and most of all books. Usually I find them to be entertaining and as I’m reading through the book, I find ways to apply what they’re suggesting to my life. Some of them stick, others don’t.

But I know for certain that as I’ve tried to develop myself to be a better person, I have most definitely become a better parent. Reading has caused me to be more empathetic toward my kids and really consider their point of view when we have a disagreement. It has helped me alter the way I think about some things and consider perspectives I would not have otherwise.

I will be the first to admit that I’m still not perfect at it. Actually, maybe the second to realize my imperfection, my wife Sarah has a good vantage point for interactions I have with our kids and she is honest and patient enough to give me a reality check when I need it.

But the main point is, when we become better people, we become better at each title we hold in life. We become a better boss, a better employee, a better spouse and most definitely a better parent. It’s a case of when the tide rises, all the boats rise with it.

In diving into these thought provoking books, I’ve learned we don’t have to hate, in fact shouldn’t hate, reading the books that help us improve. There are many authors that are incredibly engaging — to the point I forget I picked up the book because I thought it would help me.

Authors like Malcolm Gladwell, Cal Newport, Adam Grant, Seth Godin and Charles Duhigg have many enthralling books that help us see things from a different perspective. And if we’re honest, any time spent away from the screen of our TV or phone is time well spent.

Biographies, like those by Walter Isaacson, are good vessels for learning and improving. What better way to improve ourselves than copying someone who lived a great life? I also think there is a solid argument to be had for novels being good ways for us to improve. They provide a window into which we can truly understand what someone else is thinking when they do things.

If we want to be the best parents we can for our kids, which I think most of us do, we owe it to them to make the time to get better as people.